whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
