Need sex. Gaining weight.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize