Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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