I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
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