**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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