Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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