If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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