never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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