Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
