He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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