Me. At least after what I've been through.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
