I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
