I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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