my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize