bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
