Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i now understand why vodka
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
