he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
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you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have post one night stand depression
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