There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
