wrigley field is MILF paradise
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
