That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
