i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
