i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
