It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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