God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
