I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
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this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
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I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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