Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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