we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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