I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
