don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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