Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
