every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
