i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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