im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
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I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
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mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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