Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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