Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
