Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
