She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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