so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
