nut hugger
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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