Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
