did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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