i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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