I accidentally burped into my bong.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You ate ashes out of my bong
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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