Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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