Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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