After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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