I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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