I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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