I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
