His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
