I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
