This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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