I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
