she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
