i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
