fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
