I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
