i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
